Your behavior is a mirror image revealing your self-portrait. If you see yourself as a champion in life, you will be motivated to develop all the positive qualities and actions of a winner. However, if you see yourself as a loser, you will continue to experience one failure after another in life.

If you see yourself as being ignorant, you will always have difficulty with your ability to study, read, and learn new facts. Then you will develop an attitude of “I have a hard time reading and studying.” Therefore, you will not even try.

If you see yourself as being poor, you will continue to live in poverty. If you see yourself as a klutz in sports, you will fumble all over yourself on the court. If you see yourself as a poor communicator, you will always have a hard time developing relationships with other people or speaking in front of crowds. The more you tell yourself that you are ugly, hopeless, worthless, a failure, or unable to do something, the more deeply embedded that self-image becomes.

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Both faith and confidence are needed if you are to have the personal power to achieve outrageous success in life through reinventing yourself. Based on these two definitions, you can see that faith is based in having trust in another’s abilities. Confidence, on the other hand, is having a solid belief in yourself and in your own abilities. Having faith in God, a higher power, gives you the feeling of external power and strength to continue to pursue your dreams; having confidence in your abilities to achieve your dreams will give you the inner power to perform at your best in challenging situations. Continue reading →

QUESTION: 9

Many of us need more confidence to date. What would you suggest to an anxious single trying to approach an attractive stranger

ANSWER:

Confidence is attractive. Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt is a big turn-off. Set a goal to project an incredibly confident you. The following coaching tips will help.

1)    Confident Singles position themselves for opportunity. The perfect date is not going to show up on your doorstep unless you want to date the gardener or your hair stylist. Strategically place yourself in positions where you will be seen by the opposite sex. Nobody is going to connect with you if they don’t have the opportunity to meet you.

2)    Say your name with confidence! The majority of the people sheepishly say their name. Why would you say your name so quietly? Are you ashamed of your name? Are you ashamed of yourself? You shouldn’t be. You only have seven seconds to make a great first impression, then you definitely want people to remember your name. Interestingly, the more passion you add to saying your name helps embed your name in the person’s subconscious mind so they will have a higher chance of recalling it.

3)    Confident Singles know the power of connecting. Step out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Connect with confidence. Many people communicate; few people know how to connect. Find common ground with the person. Do you like the same sports, arts, fashion, places? In the first 7 seconds of meeting someone new, sincerely compliment him or her.

4)    Confident Singles dress their way to a confident day. Don’t dress like you feel. Dress the way you want to feel—confident. Your dress is a billboard telling everybody about you. What is your billboard saying about you?

5)    Confident Singles date up, not down. Reach for relationships that are a notch above you. Know your worth. You deserve the best!

6)    Confident Singles ASK for what they want. Push past your fears, uncertainty, and doubts and confidently ask the person if they are available for coffee or lunch. Remember, nothing happens until you dare to ask.

7)    Confident Singles have learned to turn rejection into a confidence building moment. If someone tells you no say, “Next! Obviously you do not see my beauty and worth.”

8)     Confident Singles listen more than they talk. Most people want to be understood. Give the person a listening ear. People love to talk about themselves. Remember, the greatest battle for singles is loneliness. Show interest by intentionally not talking about yourself, rather, ask questions to learn more about the person.

9)    Confident Singles refuse to let opportunities pass them by. Have a business card readily available with your contact information on it. People can’t call you if they don’t have your contact information.

10) Confident Singles celebrate their differences. Your uniqueness is what makes you expensive. Many singles devalue themselves by focusing on what they perceive as a “negative” body part. Remember, it is your difference that makes you stand out. Donald Trump does not change his hair because it is different—his trademark. Celebrate who you are!

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In order to lead, you must be willing to climb out on the edge of the branch where all the fruit is. Followers hug the trunk of the tree because they are afraid to step out onto the limb. Lead connotes “being out front.” It takes confidence, chutzpah, to get out front! Continue reading →

What happens during the time when you first meet someone determines three important things about the relationship and connection in the future:

• Attraction: if they like you
• Antipathy: if they don’t like you
• Apathy: if they are indifferent toward you

You will either create a positive impression that will cause the person to be drawn to you and will open the door of a new relationship, or you will create an impression that will slam the door shut on any future opportunities, leaving you with a negative consequence.

You are always making an impression; the question is, What kind of impression are you making? Your impression tachometer does not wait for you to get ready. It starts the moment you are seen in a room. Your seven seconds start the first time someone meets you, interacts with you, or hears you talking on the phone.
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QUESTION: As summer approaches, what tips do you have for insecure sunbathers who are avoiding the beach due to a lack of body confidence in their swimwear? Continue reading →

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Scientific studies prove that confident employees work faster, harder, and more intelligently, which produces better results in both quantity and quality of performance. Research shows that a lack of employee confidence causes a decline in performance and productivity costing companies a loss of billions of dollars each year. Continue reading →

Gaining Self Confidence – What  three things make me attractive inside?

• Love
• Knowledge
• Positive attitude

The key to your Confidence Solution is loving people. Loving people is one of the foundational building blocks to attracting people and building a strong team. Unconditional love means that you continue to love people regardless of their performance. What they do or don’t do. It means treating your boss, staff, associates, and clients the way you treat your own family. Continue reading →

Boosting Self Esteem – What three things attract people to your outer you: accomplishments, smile, and dress.I fly over 140,000 miles a year. I hold diamond status with Delta airlines. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat next to somebody in first class who asked me the proverbial question, “What do you do?” When I tell them I am a professional speaker, author, and America’s #1 Confidence Coach, their countenance quickly changes. They normally say, “Wow, I’m sitting beside somebody famous. You’re an author? That is really neat.” For the next hour the person beside me will ask me one question after another about leadership, confidence, coaching, or book writing. They ask, “Do you have a card?” People want to connect with a person who has achieved something in life.

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